Alright, tonight was a must win for the Yankees, and despite a classic outting by Andy Pettite, they totally choked.  A-rod wasn't even looking when he swung, apparently he realized that these at-bats actually meant something and then proceeded to shit his pants, and the other players, especially washed-up Johnny Damon, looked like they didn't deserve the uniform they were wearing.  The only player who did look great was Melky Cabrera, maybe all you haters out there who hated on my previous diary on why we should trade for Cabrera can now shut the hell up.  Anyways, the reason I would want them to win is so I don't have to hear about what they're doing, how many times Steinbrenner scratched his ass, and whether or not Torre is going to get canned every time I turn on ESPN.  If they lose, it will seriously totally sap the MLB headlines for the entire offseason, and I'm sick of it.  So for my sanity's sake, please Yankees and A-rod, take the dildo out of your mouths and start earning your stripes, because I don't want to have to hear about you everyday in the offseason.

And yes, I promise you they'll cover them less if they win.