TEMPLATE
PIRATES LOSE TO _________, DROP __TH IN A ROW
Pirates starter _____ _______ gave up ___ runs in the first inning, thanks to subpar stuff and errors by _____ ______ and ____ _____. Led by Nate McLouth and ____ _____, the Pirates attempted to mount a comeback after the starter's exit in the second inning but, shockingly, a lineup that featured _____ _____, ____ _____, and ___ _____ (pick three: Adam LaRoche / Ronny Paulino / Brian Bixler / 0-for-3vas) was unable to muster more than half the runs the Pirates needed. The middle innings felt like a ______________________ (pick one: "Beckett play," "magical realist novel," "ton of bricks being dropped on your groin") , as the Pirates __________________ (pick one: "pathetically failed to make progress," "kept allowing runs"). The game led to speculation that __ ________, ____ _______, and ____ _____ (pick three: Adam LaRoche, Matt Morris, Jose Bautista, Brian Bixler, Evan Meek, 0-for-3vas, Tom Gorzelanny, Phil Dumatrait, Zach Duke, Franquelis Osoria, Nyjer Morgan, Freddy Sanchez) are on ___________ (pick one: "their way off the roster," "the opposing team's payroll," "barbiturates"). Either way, the Pirates' performance was ________ (pick one: "hilarious," "excruciating") as always.
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Are you
trying to do Paul Meyer’s job, or Dejan’s?
Good one
Beckett:
A: “We scored a run today. Or was it yesterday. I can’t remember.’
B: ‘My eye hurts.’
A: ‘If your eye offends thee, pluck it out.’
B: ‘I did that the last time Matt Morris pitched. Things haven’t been the same since.’
A: ‘Better?’
B: ‘Yes.’
Steve Z
I'm beginning
to think that, with the exception of a few, we should let the Indy players and the Bucs players switch places.
Funniest post ever
This is your funniest post ever, Charlie – fantastic! I tried a couple run-throughs with some recent games and it works too well. 0_o
Led by Nate McLouth and X____ N___, ...
Excellent, you’ve come a long way, funny man.
Funniest post ever
Priceless. A laugh riot. But are we so used to losing that we’re giving up this early in the season.

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