The Count Comes To Town

There once was a German Count who had a huge interest in the American Southwest. He devoured novels by Louis L'Amour and had an insatiable appetite for reading anything and collecting everything that pertained  to that region of our country. For years he had a yearning to visit and one day, many years ago, decided to bring his dream to fruition. So he gathered his staff and they helped him choose this one small West Texas town for a three day visit. He dictated a letter to his secretary to be sent to the town's council notifying them of his impending visit.

Needless to say, once the letter was received and word spread throughout this small municipality, the whole town was abuzz with excitement. They had never experienced European Nobility before and wanted to do it right for the Count and his family and his entourage. They had a town meeting and reached a consensus on all the events during his visit culminating with an old fashioned Texas BBQ on a Saturday afternoon, the last day of the Count's visit. The days festivities would end that evening with the town's orchestra entertaining the Count with Beethoven's Ninth Symphony.

There were several problems attached to the entertainment aspect of the day's program. One was that the only venue available was the local high school gym which was an old structure in great disrepair. It also did not have air conditioning which could be brutal in the midst of a scorching Texas summer. They simply had to rely on a decrepit ventilation system which had seen better days. And because this was a small gym, they had to limit the instrumentation as well as the vocalists for the choral part in Beethoven's Ninth. Secondly, the orchestra itself was neither very talented nor reliable. They had two bass players that were the town drunks. Yes, co-town drunks! And sometimes they'd even arrive at performances smashed. Then the choral part required a full choir, however, lack of space limited them to four vocalists, two women and two men.

Despite some of these problems, the town went undaunted with the planning and preparation for the arrival of their German guests. Tents were erected at the town park for the BBQ in the event of rain. Food preparation was assigned to a committee. Volunteers cleaned up every square inch, every nook and cranny of the town. Amazing foresight was given to communications between the park and the gym in the event of any problems. The town hired two noted residents of this town who were a married couple that competed in marathons. They were to deliver, on foot,  any messages between the gym and the park to address any problems that may occur. The town park had no pay phones and widespread cell phone usage was still unavailable back then.

The first two days events proceeded impeccably and went according to plan. Yet, early Saturday morning brought a trivial problem but an ominous warning of what may lie ahead. It seems like the marathoners received word of the availability of a house that they long coveted. Saturday was the only day that they could move their belongings to their dream house due to a tight schedule. It was too late to hire new messengers so the idea of communications between the two venues was scrapped. A final rehearsal was being conducted in early afternoon for that nights performance of Beethoven's Ninth but the two male vocalists did not show up and these two men could not be found despite a town wide search. And the co-drunks, the bass players, once again showed up blitzed out of their minds. Still, everyone was still determined to make this work despite the two runners who had to relocate, the drunk bass players and the two men who could not be found.

The BBQ at the park was going well although the Count was a little amused when the whole town showed up in Bavarian garb while he and his group were wearing cowboy and cowgirl attire. But the Count loved the food! He ate everything that was provided from the cole slaw and baked beans to the BBQ beef brisket and shredded pork. And the townspeople kept encouraging him to eat more and more. A little of this. A little of that. It reached the point where he was stuffed and the Count could eat no more! Nevertheless,  an enjoyable time for all that afternoon.

It was a little hot at the gym but the fanning system seemed to work alright. The town's rendition of Beethoven's Ninth was not the greatest yet the Count seemed to be enjoying himself. Then came the intermission before the final part of the Symphony. A stage hand was moving around some of the music stands when the score, the sheet music was knocked off one of them and scattered to the floor. He hurriedly picked up the sheet music hoping no one was watching. Quickly he grabbed a piece of string and tied them all together even though there was no correct order to the score for Beethoven's Ninth's. Still he breathed a sigh of relief that no one noticed.

Well, the intermission was over and the Orchestra started playing the last part of Beethoven's ninth. Suddenly, without warning, the ventilation system started acted up making a real ruckus and then it began billowing black smoke from the fans and the gym had to be evacuated.

So the bottom line is this:

-It's the last of the Ninth!

-Two men are out!

-The score is tied!

-The Bas(s)es are loaded!

-The Count is full!

-The runners are moving!

-And the fans are going crazy!!

I know it's rather long but it's a slow day anyway. Hope it worked!