To all my BucsDugout friends:

Charlie knows about this but the rest of you don't, and it's time you did.

Ten days ago I was diagnosed with a 95% likelihood that I had testicular cancer. A week ago I had the cancer (and, yes, the testicle) removed. I am recovering at home and feeling better each day (as well as anyone can recover from a four-inch stab wound in the gut, anyway). The early test results look good and I will hear the path report when I go back to the doctor on Thursday. I may have to do a week of chemo just to make sure we nail any stray cells floating around in me somewhere, but for now I have reason to believe I'll be giving the Pirates many more years to show me a winner. (I suppose the irony of me frequently writing "I don't expect to see another winner in my lifetime" is as obvious to you as it is to me).

Why am I telling you this?

Because I never had any pain. Because it never interfered with my, um, functioning. I had discovered the hard lump, about the size of a peanut, several weeks ago, thought to myself, "Hmmm, I better keep an eye on that," and then ... promptly forgot about it.

Maybe two weeks ago I was taking a whiz and felt it again. It felt like it might be a little ... bigger. So I finally went to my GP, who was not happy. He sent me to a urologist, who was not happy.

And today I am ... the Uniballer!

So ... I am telling you guys this in the hopes that ASAP you'll shove a hand down the front of your pants and juggle the jewels. Feeling anything hard in there? GO. SEE. A. DOC. TOR.

B.D. and the Pirates need the few fans they have left.

Thank you for your tolerance. PSA finished.

/dismounts soap box