Can Anyone Figure This Out?

Here's my attempt at translating this article into plain English. If anyone is fluent in double-talk, or knows of a Google application for this sort of thing, please feel free to share your own translations in the comments.

"We will not be cheap in the draft, unless being cheap in the draft is advantageous to us, and we will demonstrate our thought process using some tortured eighth-grade algebra. We want our draftees to sign as quickly as possible, but we won't make desire to sign a factor when choosing them. We love the pitching in this year's draft and we need pitching badly, but we will overdraft a position player if we have to because there are so few of those. The draft budget and the Latin American signing budget are independent. Well, in an ideal world, that's true."

Did this article make any sense to anyone else? I suppose the first few sentences above make sense in a "buzz off, we're not telling you anything" sort of way, but the last two sentences are real head-scratchers. I don't envy the author, because frankly the Pirates have no real incentive to say what their actual plans are, but it probably would have been much easier to read and about twice as edifying if he had just called Keith Law or something and asked him what the Pirates are going to do. Even if he'd gotten it totally wrong, at least it would've had some sort of logical coherence.

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