I hate everything this team stands for: 1. They have no current players beyond McCutcheon that are worth talking about, so they constantly talk about the 60's and 70's. Garrett Jones got a bobblehead night. Find me a winning MLB team that starts Garrett Jones. If I have to hear one more promotion for 1960 or 1979, I'm going to shoot myself. That was 50 and 31 years ago, respectively. Who gives a fuck about those years now?! There is a simple reason that they talk about those good ol' days so much: it's all they have to talk about! 2. Other teams develop players, yet the Pirates don't. But even worse than that, they don't even try. Last year they drafted a catcher with their #1 pick. This year, a mediocre high school pitching prospect. While teams like the Nationals draft and develop #1 starters, the Pirates draft Bryan Bullington's. But yeah, Pedro Alvarez is gonna be pounding the ball in a few months! That's what Neil Huntington told me two years ago. 3. Every year, they trade away mediocre players for nothing, and we have to hear morons talk about how great the mediocre players were. What happened to Jack Wilson? Freddy Sanchez? Nyjer Morgan? Adam LaRoche. They suck, all of them. They're mediocre players on mediocre teams. Yet the Pirates brainwash their success-starved fans into thinking they're competent major leaguers. 4. Their payroll is a joke. They consistently run near the bottom of the league in payroll. Their idea of a good free agent signing is some shit-hitting middle infielder like Cedeno. We hear all the time about how they're waiting to develop some good young players before they "finish the team off" with a big-name signing. Listen, this argument is fool's gold. They're NEVER going to develop more than one decent young player at a time, so they'll never have to hold true to their word. And they know this. They fool people with it every year! 5. They waste the most beautiful ballpark in the majors. PNC Park is a real gem. Beautiful sight-lines. Wonderful scenery. Every seat gives you a great view of the game. And yet people have to pay money to watch this suck-ass team play in the awesome park every night. How many people have you talked to that told you they went to a Pirates game simply to see the park? It's a constant remark from people! 6. They make bullshit excuses. They don't sell enough tickets. People don't buy enough shirts. Russell's vag is sore. Some random bum has a pulled hamstring. Joe Blow Wasted Draft Pick blew out his arm. It's always some crap excuse year after year. 7. They're working on 18 straight losing seasons. Think about that. 18 straight losing seasons. Shit man, you'd think they could fall into a winning season once a decade. Even the fuckin' Clippers have a winning season once a decade. Even the Raiders have a winning season once a decade! It's unfathomable that a real major league franchise couldn't win one time in 18 years. How can you take a team seriously when they lose for 18 straight seasons? 8. Their drafting system is a joke. Here's a team that is consistently picking at the top of the draft, yet they've developed one (ONE!) competent current major league draft pick, McCutcheon. Their system isn't to draft successful players; its goal is to draft signable players. Think about that. Imagine running a business where your goal was to hire employees that weren't necessarily GOOD at their job, but rather you hired employees based on their lack of ability to get better offers from other employers. Wow, you'd have a hell of a business going! 9. Their announcers are complete shills. Greg Brown has never met a poor Pirate player. Bob Walk has never seen a Pirate pitcher throw a bad pitch. John Wehner... Well, he's perfect. He was a suck major league player, so he can relate to the current suck major league players the Pirates have employed during his announcing career. 10. The other city teams make them look bad. Think about it, the Steelers and Penguins both won championships last year, and they had "disappointing" 9-7 and 2nd round playoff seasons, respectively, this season. Imagine if the Pirates went 90-72 (basically a 9-7 equivalent). There would be parades in the streets! Imagine if the Pirates made it to the NLCS (2nd round equivalent). Fans would be giving each other blowjobs in the parking lot! Yet when the Steelers and Pens have those seasons, we consider it a disappointment because they didn't live up to their lofty standards. So what are the Pirates standards? Getting braindeads to feed them unearned money to keep the franchise afloat. That's all they're after, folks. Quit feeding the system! Stop buying shirts. Quit purchasing tickets. Don't frequent the businesses advertising during their telecasts. The only way you show this organization that losing isn't acceptable is by hitting them in the wallet. Quit feeling guilty because they were a good team 30 years ago.