Scene: Pirates pitcher Sean Gallagher is pitching in the 7th inning. The visiting Houston Astros have a runner on first and Gallagher has just committed a balk, making a move to first base but not actually throwing the ball as required.
Participants: Sean Gallagher, Pirates pitcher. Jim Russell, manager of the 30-58 Pirates. Ryan Doumit, catcher. All three convene on the mound after the balk call.
Gallagher: (Questioning) "Hey Skip, what's up with the ump telling the runner to go to second."
Russell: "Dammit Sean, you gotta throw the frickin' ball to first if you make a move that way."
Gallagher: (Incredulous) "What?"
Doumit: Taking off mask, "Yea, Gally, you can't not throw it to first."
Gallagher: (Disbelief) "You guys are joking right? I don't have to throw it to second or third."
Doumit: "I know, it's kinda crazy like that, but you do."
Gallagher: (Anger) "That's bullsh*t! When'd they make that stupid rule?"
Russell: "About a hundred and thirty frickin' years ago. Didn't Kerrigan* remind you before the game."
*Pirates pitching coach Joe Kerrigan
Gallagher: (scuffing dirt with spikes, head down) "Not sure."
Doumit: "Okay. Let's just try to pick him off second. Ya know Andy* got picked off by their catcher just last inning. It can happen."
*Pirates pinch hitter Andy LaRoche
Russell: Stomping off "Just don't get him in a rundown, you guys already blew one of those tonight."
You don't get to be 30-59 by doing everything right.
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