Setting: Pitcher's mound PNC Park, Pittsburgh

Scene:  Pirates pitcher Sean Gallagher is pitching in the 7th inning.  The visiting Houston Astros have a runner on first and Gallagher has just committed a balk, making a move to first base but not actually throwing the ball as required.

Participants:  Sean Gallagher, Pirates pitcher.  Jim Russell, manager of the 30-58 Pirates.  Ryan Doumit, catcher.  All three convene on the mound after the balk call.

The Conversation:

Gallagher:  (Questioning) "Hey Skip, what's up with the ump telling the runner to go to second."
Russell:  "Dammit Sean, you gotta throw the frickin' ball to first if you make a move that way."
Gallagher:  (Incredulous)  "What?"
Doumit:  Taking off mask, "Yea, Gally, you can't not throw it to first."
Gallagher:  (Disbelief)  "You guys are joking right?  I don't have to throw it to second or third."
Doumit:  "I know, it's kinda crazy like that, but you do."
Gallagher:  (Anger)  "That's bullsh*t!  When'd they make that stupid rule?"
Russell:  "About a hundred and thirty frickin' years ago.  Didn't Kerrigan* remind you before the game."
*Pirates pitching coach Joe Kerrigan
Gallagher: (scuffing dirt with spikes, head down)  "Not sure."
Doumit:  "Okay.  Let's just try to pick him off second.  Ya know Andy* got picked off by their catcher just last inning.  It can happen."
*Pirates pinch hitter Andy LaRoche
Russell:  Stomping off  "Just don't get him in a rundown, you guys already blew one of those tonight."

You don't get to be 30-59 by doing everything right.