As most baseball fans know by now, Milwaukee Brewers slugger and reigning NL MVP Ryan Braun tested positive for performance enhancing drugs (PEDs) and faces a 50 game suspension.
However, Braun denies the validity of the test and says he never knowingly took PEDs. "Knowingly." Get it? Don't you see what's going on here?
I don't have all the facts yet, but Braun's agent did say that there are "unusual circumstances" in this case. You add that to Braun saying he never knowingly took any banned substances and, well, it can only lead me to one conclusion: Ryan Braun is the latest victim of the guy who has been preying on professional athletes for decades. I don't know his name, but he's that guy that always seems to find a way to get these high-profile athletes to take steroids (or other illegal substances) without really knowing what they're taking.
This guy has a history of ruining the reputations of great athletes. He got Barry Bonds to rub performance enhancing cream on his body many years ago.
This guy, this DEMON, must really hate professional cyclists because he's been getting them suspended for years at the Tour de France.
I don't know how this person does it, but apparently, his technique is pretty good. It's not always easy to get athletes to sign autographs or answer questions in the locker room, but this man has perfected the art of just handing them illegal or banned substances and persuading these people to take them without asking any questions.
I'm glad I've never had any contact with this man. Just the other day, my back was hurting me and I asked my friend for ibuprofen. If my friend was that monster, he may have given me a couple of Tylenol PMs and I would have been totally useless at work. Forget suspended, I would have been fired.
I think sports commissioners are looking in the wrong places and targeting the wrong people. Instead of testing these athletes, the innocent victims in all of this, they need to try to stop the "take these steroids without realizing it" guy.
You catch him, urine samples everywhere will be clean forever.