Time to Trade for Albert?

by Trogluddite on Jun 20, 2011 9:48 PM EDT

Sure, he's out for 4-6 weeks, but NH has to be thinking, "That Overpaid guy isn't working out so hot and the blog mob is still on my case because I didn't trade for Lars F^^^ing Anderson. Where can I get a 1B to end the season on an upward trend?" And it could make sense because...

...nothing puts fannies in the seats, and money in the Nuttings' pockets, for eventual use in upgrading the amenities at their private lodge in Seven Springs, like home runs flying out of PNC park. "Pitch for show, hit homers for dough," or something like that. Wouldn't it be nice if some of those homers flying out were hit by the home team?

The great thing is that this is the kind of trade that could help us keep near .500 this year and Big Albert hitting grand slam home runs driving home Tabata, Cutch, and Walker would "wow" the home crowd so thoroughly that no one would worry about are record next year, or the year after, or the year after that - and when ever Pujols came to town in a Phillies or Cardinals or Cubs uniform, or we saw him on TV in a Yankees or Red Sox uniform, we could say, "for one brief, shining, glorious fall, Albert Pujols was a Pittsburgh Pirate."

I think we could get this done with Allie (who still has prospect potential but has been middling at best at State College), Overbay (we'd eat his salary and make the trade now, giving the Cardinals a 1B), Sanchez, Rudy Owens and any two Zachs currently in our farm system (any spelling; the Cardinals pitching coach is a genius who can get the most out of these guys), and lifetime passes to Seven Springs for all Cardinals owners, management, and their heirs, in perpetuity.

So, did I miss any cliche about making a trade? More importantly, is a pitchfork-wielding, torch-waving mob searching for Trogluddite's lair in the near future?

This is a FanPost and does not necessarily reflect the views of the managing editor (Charlie) or SB Nation. FanPosts are written by Bucs Dugout readers.

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Comments

allie is "middling" at state college...

dude, thats hysterical… thick n creamy sarcasm all over that one

by white angus on Jun 20, 2011 10:12 PM EDT reply actions

Middling? His ERA is over 11. We need to get rid of him well he still has some value.

by thecheeseisblue on Jun 20, 2011 10:21 PM EDT up reply actions

Bring back Jack

Very hilarias. If we can do a 3 way with Seattle and bring back Jumpin Jack Flash life would be unbelieveable!

by long4willie on Jun 20, 2011 10:21 PM EDT reply actions

I thought about proposing

a three-way that added the McCourts – or at least the Dodgers, but any trade scenario I came up with there teetered between horrible and silly….

What does that mean?!

by Trogluddite on Jun 20, 2011 10:43 PM EDT up reply actions

"...a three-way that added the McCourts..."

That’s be tough to put together since they’re only speaking to each other through their lawyers. It would have to be a 5 way.

by lambert58 on Jun 21, 2011 11:09 AM EDT up reply actions

Better go to Sleep Outfitters

and get the emperor mattress.

by bucdaddy on Jun 21, 2011 11:39 PM EDT up reply actions

We need guys that can hit.

Not more guys that can’t

by mspirate on Jun 21, 2011 1:11 AM EDT up reply actions

Can we give them Dusty Brown, too?

by maguro on Jun 20, 2011 11:00 PM EDT reply actions

only if we get berkman as well

by theatrain on Jun 21, 2011 12:15 AM EDT up reply actions

Yes, do it!

A package of Doumit, Maholm and Karstens should do the trick. Can’t wait to see Albert in Pittsburgh!

by mspirate on Jun 21, 2011 1:10 AM EDT reply actions

Thought this was werious at first

I was wondering, wht happened to Troggs? Did someone hack his account? Troggs = Weiner?

by Wizard of Woz on Jun 21, 2011 8:50 AM EDT reply actions

Let's hope not

This site needs to remain “safe for work”.

by maguro on Jun 21, 2011 9:00 AM EDT up reply actions

I would only do the deal

if the Cards include Wainright and Gerald Laird. Wainright is a tall righthanded pitcher and Gerald Laird is an injured catcher

by VoteforPedro on Jun 21, 2011 9:14 AM EDT reply actions

injured catchers are the new market inefficiency!

by Garrett122 on Jun 21, 2011 9:37 AM EDT up reply actions

We're rich!!

RICH I TELLS YA!!

by BlindSquirrel on Jun 21, 2011 7:59 PM EDT up reply actions

Nicely done, Troggs.

Free your ass and your mind will follow.

by cocktailsfor2 on Jun 21, 2011 10:01 AM EDT reply actions

Another Silly Trade!

See my post on silly trade ideas. This is another one. No gonna happen for a number of reasons.

We would be better (if we wanted King Albert) to wait to see if he becomes a FA and make a bid for him then.

by zogger on Jun 21, 2011 10:43 AM EDT reply actions

This

was sarcasm bud.

Da'Sean Butler - A Mountaineer Legend

by McCutchenIsTheTruth on Jun 21, 2011 11:49 AM EDT up reply actions

"I think we could get this done with Allie (who still has prospect potential but has been middling at best at State College)"

hahahahhhahahahhaha hes pitched one game, how bout pay attention before you write something down…Man i can’t take half these post anymore.

by BigB2323 on Jun 21, 2011 11:16 AM EDT reply actions

sat·ire

[sat-ahyuhr]

–noun

1. the use of irony, sarcasm, ridicule, or the like, in exposing, denouncing, or deriding vice, folly, etc.
2. a literary composition, in verse or prose, in which human folly and vice are held up to scorn, derision, or ridicule.
3. a literary genre comprising such compositions.

Put on your dancin' shoes.

by PensFan024 on Jun 21, 2011 11:35 AM EDT up reply actions

Unfortunately

it looks like the day has come where we might need to use the [/sarcasm] tag or something.

Pity.

Da'Sean Butler - A Mountaineer Legend

by McCutchenIsTheTruth on Jun 21, 2011 11:51 AM EDT up reply actions

It does diminish the effect some imo.

#AllTheBuntsAreBad!

by Slick1 on Jun 22, 2011 10:48 AM EDT up reply actions

It's like telling a joke and having to explain the punch line...

#AllTheBuntsAreBad!

by Slick1 on Jun 22, 2011 10:49 AM EDT up reply actions

by theatrain on Jun 21, 2011 5:14 PM EDT up reply actions

Good one, Trogs.

by bucdaddy on Jun 21, 2011 11:32 AM EDT reply actions

Without Puljos does that make St. Louis less of a contender than they were? The question I’m asking is do you think this has any impact on the Pirates being able to contend for the divisionand chances of them making a trade.

As we’ve all discussed many times over, no trades involving any top prospects or anything like that. And quite frankly I wouldn’t make a move just yet anyway. The Pirates are in the middle of a freefall and until they break from it, I don’t see any point in making a trade.

by StripesForLife on Jun 21, 2011 12:24 PM EDT reply actions

Without Puljos does that make St. Louis less of a contender than they were?

Hell yes. Take the far-and-away best guy off of any team and that team will suffer. Does it help the Bucs? sure, but not a whole lot. Ryan Braun and Prince Fielder are still healthy up in Milwaukee. They are the ones who will benefit most from this

by theatrain on Jun 21, 2011 5:16 PM EDT up reply actions

Thanks to all who appreciated the bad joke

I was thinking that I had written the perfect trade fanpostthen I saw cocktails comment and realized I had NOT written the perfect trade Fanpost. It was sort of like writing a perfect country song and not saying anything about being drunk, or Mama, or prison, or pick-up trucks, or trains. So I’m going to go back and add the one thing that will make this the perfect Pirates’ 2011 proposed trade fanpost. While I’m doing that, can someone link to a little Davide Allen Coe?

What does that mean?!

by Trogluddite on Jun 21, 2011 6:33 PM EDT reply actions