We could all use a laugh right about now. Or at least a chuckle. Maybe a titter? So here are some of things I heard today while listening to the Fan, whether they be from callers or the hosts or so forth. I don't want to say who exactly said some of this, but rest assured these were all (mostly paraphrased) actual thing people said.
If Josh Harrison was taller he would be the Pirates first baseman. (Hitting a robust .270! Also comes with walk!)
Get Jason Giambi to play first. (Do they allow MLB players to play in wheelchairs?)
Steve Pearce is an absolute embarrassment to the Pirates organization and should be gotten rid of immediately. (That's not enough, I saw off with his head!)
Jose Tabata got injured and has had setbacks because he doesn't prepare enough for the season. (I have no idea what this was even supposed to mean.)
"Nutting should cut the strings off his damn puppet!" (This has nothing to do with an opinion that Bob Nutting is controlling everything that Neal Huntington does, no. It was just a helpful suggestion because Nutting, an avid marionette enthusiast, must have asked for help getting one of his puppets untangled.
Catchers are always overrated. (Yup. Always. And first baseman are always underrated.)
Brian Sabean is so respected because he wins. (Not to disparage Sabean much, but this still made me laugh.)