FanPost

Pirates fans--it's time to quit being meatballs. Raise your standards!

In my various travels as an ESPN expert analyst, I can't help but remark at the mess that IS the midwestern portion of the country. Part of that mess lies at the beautiful PNC Park in Pittsburgh. Pirates fans, I have a solution to your baseball problems. Time to find a new baseball team to root for. Sure, there will be meatballs who disagree with me. Mind you, these are the same meatballs that have never left their hometowns, never dated a woman, are booger eaters who watch pro wrestling, and spent their Friday nights making out with their forearm. For the rest of you with common sense, it's time to become a fan of a winning baseball organization. There's nothing wrong with bandwagoning. Become a Yankees fan. RAISE your STANDARDS. Root for STARS in BIG markets. The Yankees get ratings! Honestly, nobody caaaares about the Pittsburgh Pirates. Ask yourself this? Would you keep going back to a restaurant that provided awful service (you like that analogy, huh? I spent hours thinking it up, and my back is sore from patting it) You will thank me later when you experience that sweet taste of winning. I get it all the time from my other favorite sports teams. Losing is for losers. Winning is for wiiiiiners!

This is a FanPost and does not necessarily reflect the views of the managing editor (Charlie) or SB Nation. FanPosts are written by Bucs Dugout readers.

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