FanPost

The opinions of sports experts...

...are not worth spit.

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I sometimes listen to the Pirates games on the radio. And it is because I do so that I have the radio set to 93.7 FM, The Fan. So, I wake up every morning listening to Jim Colony, Paul Alexander and Greg Gianotti bloviate. This morning, I heard the words ‘guarantee' and ‘guaranteed' about 20 times during the first minute of my waking day. In that brief moment I learned that:

Jeff Locke was not guaranteed. He gave up five runs just yesterday.

Gerritt Cole provides no guarantee. He gave up three runs in the first inning of his first AAA start.

The Pirates lack pitchers who are guaranteed to perform at the highest level.

They want sure things. Well, dumbasses, every major league team completely lacks pitchers guaranteed to perform at the highest level. The only guarantee known to humankind is that few things are certain. Baseball pitchers are not included in the category of certain things. In fact, they are always one pitch away from an injury.

So: Criticizing the Pirates for lacking guaranteed pitching options is akin to criticizing the team for lacking a magic monkey's foot the rubbing of which will cause the Pirates to win the World Series.

I say these sports experts need to visit a psychiatrist to ask for a pill which will control their anxiety attacks.

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Rub this dumbasses

This is a FanPost and does not necessarily reflect the views of the managing editor (Charlie) or SB Nation. FanPosts are written by Bucs Dugout readers.

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