Pirates crush Cardinals like it's nothing

Justin K. Aller

If you're not feeling great right now, you're not a Pirates fan. Before an elated crowd at PNC, the Bucs crushed the Cardinals 6-0 in the feel-good game of the year, sweeping a doubleheader and increasing their lead over not only the Cardinals themselves but over every other team in baseball. And they did it in style.

Brandon Cumpton was fantastic in his spot start, throwing hard and with solid control, and generally preventing the Cardinals from doing much at all. As it turned out, he got a ton of help he didn't need. The Bucs got one on a passed ball in the second, then unloaded in the fifth. Starling Marte led off with a triple, and Jordy Mercer dumped in a single to score him.

Then Andrew McCutchen hit a ball to deep left. Matt Holliday drifted back, back ... and then the ball bounced off the heel of his glove and over the short wall. It got better. McCutchen raised his hand in the air and rounded first about as slowly as any home-run hitter I've ever seen. (Only because Mercer wasn't sure whether the ball had been caught, but still.) And then ROOT Sports showed a replay of the home run, and we saw Holliday's ugly defense in all its shaggy glory, along with a very fratty-looking Pirates fan directly behind him, taking obvious pleasure in Holliday's bad fortune, shouting and flexing like a victorious boxer. In slo-mo.

You think I should be above thinking stuff like this is awesome? Nope! Sorry. That felt great, and Andrew McCutchen is awesome, and I would totally give that bro fan a Natty Ice, and I hope if I were in his Adidas Stan Smiths, I would have done exactly the same thing. We're Pirates fans, people. We've put up with everything for 20 years, and if our team is in first place and some other team who's supposed to be competing with the Bucs comes to PNC and gives up a home run off the heel of a glove, we're going to have some fun with it, preferably too much. We've been on the other side of all this for way too long.

Anyway, the Pirates scored two more in the seventh. They also hit leadoff triples in the sixth and eighth and failed to score either runner, but who cares? Does Jay-Z sweat it if he accidentally gives his waiter an extra hundred-dollar bill? No, no he does not. They're the Pittsburgh Pirates, they're beating the Cardinals over and over, they've got the best record in baseball, and today, at least, they can afford to light leadoff triples on fire. What's up.

X
Log In Sign Up

forgot?
Log In Sign Up

Please choose a new SB Nation username and password

As part of the new SB Nation launch, prior users will need to choose a permanent username, along with a new password.

Your username will be used to login to SB Nation going forward.

I already have a Vox Media account!

Verify Vox Media account

Please login to your Vox Media account. This account will be linked to your previously existing Eater account.

Please choose a new SB Nation username and password

As part of the new SB Nation launch, prior MT authors will need to choose a new username and password.

Your username will be used to login to SB Nation going forward.

Forgot password?

We'll email you a reset link.

If you signed up using a 3rd party account like Facebook or Twitter, please login with it instead.

Forgot password?

Try another email?

Almost done,

By becoming a registered user, you are also agreeing to our Terms and confirming that you have read our Privacy Policy.

Join Bucs Dugout

You must be a member of Bucs Dugout to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Bucs Dugout. You should read them.

Join Bucs Dugout

You must be a member of Bucs Dugout to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Bucs Dugout. You should read them.

Spinner.vc97ec6e

Authenticating

Great!

Choose an available username to complete sign up.

In order to provide our users with a better overall experience, we ask for more information from Facebook when using it to login so that we can learn more about our audience and provide you with the best possible experience. We do not store specific user data and the sharing of it is not required to login with Facebook.

tracking_pixel_9351_tracker