The Internal Struggle

The following conversation is happening in my head as I type

Irrational me: The Pirates are going to finish below .500

Rational me: Oh c’mon don’t be stupid. They’ve just lost 4 games in a row, every team loses 4 games in a row. If they tied the Major League record for consecutive loses they’d still be .500. They could play with stale Twizzlers as bats and finish above .500

Irrational me: That’s what everyone was saying last year too. Remember what happened there?

Rational me: Well, yeah. But that was last year, it has no bearing on this year. They could have the same winning percentage as they did in August and September last year and still be above .500

Irrational me: Nothing like giving themselves a good failure challenge.

Rational me: You do realize they’re still 2 games ahead in the division, right? And 7.5 games ahead in the Wild Card.

Irrational me: It’s August 14th. That’ll change once they get swept these next two series.

Rational me: (Sigh) The pitching is too good this year to let something like that happen

Irrational me: Oh right, there’s no way Jeff Locke, Francisco Liriano, Charlie Morton, and Gerrit Cole could possibly fall apart. The first three have pitched so far over their heads their ears pop when they leave the mound. It’s not so much if they’ll fail, but when. Even Burnett could fall apart, the guy was in rookie ball with Honus Wagner for Chrissakes. And Cole, his innings are being watched more closely than a guy named Muhammad’s phone records.

Rational me: There’s no way they ALL fall apart. It’s statistically impossible, much like their complete inability to hit with men on base. That’s bound to improve

Irrational me: Oh really? Have you watched them bat with runners in scoring position? It’s like Jay Bell tells a guy batting with runners in scoring position "Okay, forget everything I taught you and do the absolute worst thing possible." A eunuch at a convention of lesbians has a better chance of scoring

Rational me: This is their year though! Think of all the great bounces and calls the fates have given them this year. They have serious good mojo

Irrational me: Had serious good mojo. Now all of a sudden they’re balking guys to third who score runs in one run losses, hitting line drives right to the third-baseman with runners on 2nd and 3rd in one run games, and having their best defenders give games away. This is only the beginning. It’s like the baseball gods’ August alarm went off and now it’s all going to be bad luck for the Pirates the rest of the way

Rational me: C’mon you’re seriously just being silly. This is par for the course for any normal baseball team.

Irrational me: In case you haven’t noticed me, this isn't a normal baseball team. Normal baseball teams don’t have 20 year losing streaks. Normal teams don’t have consecutive seasons where they go from playing like playoff teams to playing like the Scarecrow made them afraid of winning. Forgive me if all that has made me just the wee-ist bit pessimistic.

Rational me: Damn, I can’t argue with any of that. (Pause) The Pirates are going to finish below .500


This is a FanPost and does not necessarily reflect the views of the managing editor (Charlie) or SB Nation. FanPosts are written by Bucs Dugout readers.

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