Pirates to Pitch to Billy Crystal Today

by Charlie on Mar 13, 2008 12:33 AM EDT in News Comment 22 comments

I'm against Billy Crystal suiting up for the Yankees today, but not for the reasons you might think.

I'm all for bizarre events and weird promotional stunts, as long as they happen infrequently enough to remain bizarre. Eddie Gaedel was awesome. Randall Simon smacking a sausage with a bat, also awesome. (Given that no one got hurt, of course.) 3-year-old Darren Baker having to be whisked away from home plate during the playoffs - hilarious!

However, this particular stunt is just stupid. Come on, Yankees, you can do better. Crystal isn't even 60 yet, which presumably means he can still jog a little bit. Why not let a centenarian suit up and let him try to hit? Or a two-year-old? Or the world's tallest man?

These are just off the top of my head! They'd all be weirder and more entertaining than an aging actor who hasn't had a hit - no pun intended - since, what, Analyze That?

The Pirates have had 15 losing seasons in a row. Until it breaks the streak, the organization deserves any silliness another team cares to throw at it. But, gosh, try harder. Who was the World's Biggest Loser on that TV show this season? Why not get that person? Or, say, Beck? Or Jason Biggs?

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Billy Crystal

The first pitch needs to be aimed squarely at his head. Goose Gossage, who apparently likes Crystal, even said that.

I'm sure everyone remembers Dock Ellis setting out to prove a point by intentionally hitting all nine Reds' batters at the start of a game. A point needs to be proven here too. Anyone other than a god-awful Hollywood celebrity would be fine.

by Blyleven Curve Ball on Mar 13, 2008 9:26 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs

Don't hit him

just pitch to him underhand and play the infield right around the depth of the pitcher's mound.

by The New Guy on Mar 13, 2008 9:38 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs

Crystal

Salutations,

I think that it is a neat thing and too big a deal is being made of it. However, if the pitcher or the Bucs are at all concerned, you have LaRoche pitch to him.

Good day.

by UncleNate on Mar 13, 2008 12:24 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

I dunno

I'm torn here.

At first I thought this stunt was funny. Now I'm pretty pissed. The Bucs are in the midst of an historic losing streak and the Yankee organization doesn't even realize that they're insulting the them. Billy Crystal is not to blame here. I say we pitch soft toss to him and send the Yankees a message by drilling A-Rod in the wrist and Jeter in the melon.

by bryanzane on Mar 13, 2008 12:32 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

What's the big deal?

Is Billy Crystal playing for the Yankees in an exhibition game any worse than some of the guys the Pirates have trotted out in regular-season games over the past 15 years?

by NW Pirate fan on Mar 13, 2008 1:27 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

LOL

Now that's funny.

by dtoddwin on Mar 13, 2008 4:50 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Got him

Maholm fans Crystal on a 3-2 inside fastball. Billy did manage to foul off one pitch.

by bolton on Mar 13, 2008 1:35 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

It's Not That They're Playing the Pirates

From deep in the heart of the evil empire....

Listening to WFAN and talking to co-workers (mostly Yankees fans w/some Mets fans mixed in), I'd say that it's 60/40 or 70/30 against this up here as well. But the timing is because his 60th birthday is in a few days. It has nothing to do w/playing the Pirates. Frankly, I'm glad he's DH'ing because I was concerned that the Pirates would claim him under Rule 5 if he showed any skill in the field.

Maholm actually struggled finding the plate. It was a fair 3-1 count before PM threw 2x cutters. The Yankee announcers recognized that PM was in a no-win situation.

Aside from the fact that they have not gotten a hit, the Pirates batters are looking okay against Mussina - hitting the ball well, but all flies.

PM looked good against the rest of the Yanks lineup, really dropping curves off the table and freezing batters or getting off-stride strikes.

by Trogluddite on Mar 13, 2008 1:48 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

Baseball playing actors

I wonder if actors worry about the integrity of a movie or TV show when athletes get a role.

by bolton on Mar 13, 2008 2:20 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

A few other comments

Yank commentators have twice stated that Mwitz "has made" the team as a utility player. They stated he's also played second.
Bay had a very sloppy slide - he popped back up a foot short of home.
Pirates are not displaying any power - hits are solid, but nothing has driven the Yank outfielders back.

by Trogluddite on Mar 13, 2008 3:24 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

It's all entertainment, folks

I might remind that a couple years ago at the home opener, the Pirates' idea of such entertainment was

1. Having another washed-up actor (whose last movie anybody saw was, what, "Mr. Mom"? "Beetlejuice"?), throw out the first ball and then rant about team management.

b. Having some third-rate "American Idol" contestant sing the national anthem.

And

#. Trotting out Bruno Sammartino to take a bow and (if memory serves) fake wrestle with the Parrot.

So yeah, on the whole I think I'd rather watch Billy take his cuts.

by bucdaddy on Mar 13, 2008 3:57 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs