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Third-Most Depressing Sentence Ever (Part of an Ongoing Series)

From Ed Eagle:

Among the most prominent of the many newcomers are veteran reliever Roberto Hernandez and starter Victor Santos, a pair of pitchers who could play pivotal roles in the team's fortunes in 2006.

Translation: "This team is going to be so much worse than you thought."

Elsewhere in the article:

[Ian] Snell has not yet thrown a bullpen session during the minicamp. He is suffering from tendinitis in the middle finger of his right hand.

I find this hilarious, given Snell's alleged attitude problems.