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Slow Day

Fortunately, there's a article to make fun of:

A $3 million price tag is a bargain for [Xavier Nady, who] showed last season that a 30-homer, 100-RBI season could -- and probably more appropriately, should -- be an expectation.

Yes, definitely let's pencil in 30 homers and 100 RBIs for Nady, who's 29 and whose career highs are 20 and 72, respectively. Also we should count on 40 jacks for Adam LaRoche, a Gold Glove for Ronny Paulino, 150 games played for Ryan Doumit, a 20-win season for Matt Morris, and 97-MPH velocity for Sean Burnett. Also, I'm pretty sure Nyjer Morgan will break Rickey Henderson's single-season stolen base record, Bryan Bullington will become a successful big-league pitcher, Bob Nutting will throw money from a parade float like Jack Nicholson in Batman, and will hire a writer who knows how to write propaganda that at least isn't outright ridiculous.

Now maybe I'm just a homer, but I really think the Pirates have a shot this year.