That Jose Castillo was playing for the Brewers and racking up game-winning hits, to the point where he was a regular fixture on Baseball Tonight and in the pages of Sports Illustrated. Also, he was wearing his hair long and straight, which somehow made him look a little like Nuno Bettencourt. I also dreamed that I wrote lots of scathing blog posts about it, and I want to promise right now that if Castillo starts looking like Nuno Bettencourt and playing for the Brewers and racking up game-winning hits, I won't criticize the Pirates for it, because I don't think this dream is any less absurd than any other dream.
By the way, Pat noticed that if Castillo's new contract with the Marlins calls for him to make more than $750,000, he's technically the Marlins' highest-paid player for now (although Andrew Miller will probably end up making more, and so will several arbitration-eligible players). That's so remarkably cheap of the Marlins, it's kind of incredible. Presumably, they'll start pouring money back into the team in about two years, when Hanley Ramirez, Dan Uggla, Cameron Maybin, Miller, and others are good enough to form the core of a playoff team. The Marlins' way of being cheap is a lot more interesting than the Pirates', that's for sure.