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Pirates vs. Reds, 28 May 2008

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Tom Gorzelanny vs. Bronson Arroyo, 7:10 PM. Here's the box.

The Reds made a roster move today, sending Corey Patterson and his .592 OPS to the minors to "work the kinks out of his swing," and replacing him on the roster with Andy Phillips. Patterson's had issues for something like a decade, so hoping that a trip to the minors will sort out his "kinks" is like hoping David Cronenberg might work out his by spending a week working for Disney.

When I was a senior in college, I was really stressed out all the time, so I took a yoga class to fulfill some phys ed graduation requirement and to help me relax. I'm tall and have never been all that flexible, so all the girls in my class were very kind to not laugh at me as I repeatedly tried and failed to do a headstand. Anyway, one day the instructor approached me and said, "Did you have a really rapid growth spurt." Yes. "How old are you, about 20?" Something like that. "Yeah, I could straighten you out. But it would take about 20 more years." Good luck, Corey.