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Brewers Don't Actually Defeat Pirates, 5-1


I didn't see this one for the same reasons that no one else saw this one, so that means we can pretend it didn't happen, right?

So here's what didn't occur:

-P- Shaun Marcum taking a page out of the April 2012 playbook, mauling Pirates hitters by striking out eight batters while walking one and allowing one run in seven innings.

-P- Los Piratas picking up only five hits the whole game (including a Garrett Jones homer to lead off the fourth).

-P- Erik Bedard giving up four hits to start the fourth, the last of which was a two-run homer by Brooks Conrad (who was 0-for-27 entering tonight's game).

-P- Doug Slaten walking the bases full in the eighth. (And getting out of it without letting in a run.)

-P- The beer-makers wearing vomit-colored alternate jerseys, which would surely be just a little bit too on the nose, wouldn't it? Good thing they didn't do that.

Nope, didn't see any of that, so it must not have been real. The Pirates go for the sweep tomorrow afternoon.