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Russell Martin, Michael McKenry and 13 adjectives

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USA TODAY Sports

Dismissive

I don't know, man, it's April.

Indecisive

You need two good catchers. They'll both play. Michael McKenry is the better hitter, but Russell Martin is much better defensively.

Agitated

Two weeks of baseball doesn't mean anything, so shut your face.

Practical

You don't spend $17 million on a free agent and then give up on him as a starter after two weeks.

Overjoyed

It's awesome that McKenry is already forcing us to discuss this.

Nonplussed

"Overjoyed" was a bit strong, wasn't it?

Self-congratulatory

When you've run a seminal baseball blog for eight years like I have, you know not to freak out about these things after two weeks. Also, this shirt looks really good on me.

Pedantic

Let me tell you about a little concept called "pitch-framing." Pitch-framing has to do with the way the catcher receives the ball -- after the pitcher throws it to him, of course! -- and the smoothness of his positioning and body language as he does so. Russell Martin is very good at it, and by "it," I mean pitch-framing. I am wearing a blue striped shirt from Eddie Bauer that has held up well to repeated washings. It is non-iron, which means I don't have to iron it. Also, your grammar was subtly incorrect in your comment below.

Confrontational

Are you one of those @#$#%%& who thinks the Pirates should have gone into the season with Michael McKenry, Tony Sanchez and practically no one else at catcher? You wanna take this outside?

Presidential

Overreactions to small sample sizes harm American families. We as a people need an approach to baseball analysis that better reflects our dreams and values, and that offers the promise of a better future. Now shut your face.

Sexual

Ungh Michael McKenry is so hot right now

Minimalist

It's April it's April it's April April April it's April it's it's it's April April April April A- A- A- April April April

Absurdist

wughuthghaghghghufghghgfughghgwuh [narrator pulls balsa-wood airplane out of mouth]