In the 5:07pm game, Milwaukee takes on the Rockies, whom all decent people should be rooting for because they spared us all a month of Joe Maddon closeups and, anyway, Ryan Braun. The Colorado starter is Antonio Senzatela, whom I had literally never heard of. Milwaukee counters with Brandon Woodruff, whom I’m moderately sure I’ve heard of.
In the 8:07pm game, the Dodgers and Braves will face off in a contest to see who can sink deepest into Latin American scouting corruption, or who can score more runs, whichever comes first. Mike Foltynewicz will face Hyun-Jin Ryu.