I Ate The Pittsburgh Cone So You Wouldn’t Have To

MLB teams are in a perpetual state of one-upmanship to see who can create the most ridiculous ballpark foods. This year, the Pirates threw their hat in the ring.

The Rangers unveiled a two pound chicken tender this year, the Mariners have grasshoppers on the menu, and you can wash it all down with a triple sausage bloody Mary from Target Field. Whether it’s creating unnecessarily large dishes or Frankenstein-ing local cuisines, every year we stray further away from hot dogs, peanuts and Cracker Jack.

On opening day, I tried one of those new abominations: the “Pittsburgh Cone” at the Familee BBQ behind section 132. This is the marquee of the new foods offered at PNC Park this year, and while its novelty drew me in, I can’t see myself ever buying another one.

Ingredients

Kielbasa

Pierogi

Swiss Cheese

Sauerkraut

Russian Dressing

Waffle Cone

Disclaimer: I hate swiss cheese, so I asked for one without any. Unfortunately for me, the cones were pre-made, so custom orders were not an option. Proceed with caution for those of you with dietary restrictions or are just picky eaters.

How’s it taste?

There is no good way to eat this thing. I took two genuine bites at the beginning, getting a bit of everything, including the cone. Surprisingly, it actually kind of works, in a bizzare Germanic/Polish chicken and waffles sort of way.

After those first two bites, I felt the integrity of the cone’s structure start to go, so I opted to scoop the rest out with a fork. It’s here I could really tell the pierogies are carrying more than their fair share of the workload. There are only a few chunks of kielbasa on the top, which seems like a ripoff. For $9, I was hoping to get at least one whole piece of sausage.

The sauerkraut does not have much flavor. I can’t say I’m too disappointed that I missed out on a sauerkraut ice cream cone, but it’s pretty half-hearted cabbage that’s only here to take up space. If it had a little bite to it and there were a few more kielbasa chunks, then the cone could have been a little bolder and better. Right now, it’s a couple of conservative flavors thrown together in a way that is edible, but isn’t worth eating after the first couple bites, especially when all you’re left with is cone.

If you want to take pictures of the Pittsburgh Cone for your Instagram or to just try the novelty of it, then it’s not that bad. If someone said it’s their favorite food in the stadium and they get one every time they go, then I’d be concerned for their well-being.